


keeping up with the kardas(NCT members)hians

by Kunsmagictrick



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, He's just oblivious, M/M, Multi, a little angsty, but jeno and jaemin adores him, crackish i guess, everybody loves Kun because i love him, for long? idk tbh, he deserves the world omg, hyuck is brozoned, idk wtf im doing, im sorry, renjun feels left out, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-05-25 18:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14982761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunsmagictrick/pseuds/Kunsmagictrick
Summary: all of NCT 18 in one groupchat, because Mark's lazy and didn't wanna make two(a lot of old memes and dad jokes, srry not srry.)





	1. Peter Pwarker

**Author's Note:**

> who's who:
> 
> GordonRamsayroastedme = Mark  
> TAE twink = Taeyong  
> johnnys Banana = Johnny  
> Dolphin Laughter = Chenle  
> wherewereu = Jaemin  
> devil = Haechan  
> minion-assailant = Yuta  
> jaethebooty = Jaehyun  
> ten/ten = Ten  
> dreamfanatic =Lucas  
> uwu =Jungwoo  
> ST(K)UNNING = Kun  
> flexible101 = Winwin  
> themoominlover = Renjun  
> Jisung Pwark = Jisung  
> bunnyboi = Doyoung  
> dadjokes = Taeil  
> smileyboi = Jeno

 

 

**_GordonRamsayroastedme creat a new chat  7:34 PM_**

**_GordonRamsayroastedme named chat "sup fuckers"_ **

_**GordonRamsayroastedme ADDS *TAE twink* *Johnnys Banana* *Dolphin Laughter* *wherewereu* *devil* *minion-assailant* (holy shit there's a lot of them) *jaethebooty* *ten/ten* *dreamfanatic* *uwu* *ST(K)UNNING* *flexible101*  *themoominlover*  *Jisung Pwark* *bunnyboi* *dadjokes* *smileyboi*** _

 

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** sup fuckers      

 **GordonRamsayroastedme _:_** GueSS wHO mADE A GrOuP cHaT     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme _:_** ME     

 

 **J** **isung Pwark** _ **:**_ why?    

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** LET ME FINISH  

 

 **J** **isung Pwark:** why?   

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** WAOW U REALLY HAD THE AUDACIDY TO INTERRUPT ME, FOOK U   

 

 **themoominlover:** Fam... audacity*  

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** ShUT THe FUck Up PATRicIA   

 

 **themoominlover:** I just wanted to say that I came out to have a good time, 

 **themoominlover:** and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now. 

 

 **bunnyboi:** it's too early for this shit, mark why'd u make the group chat?     

 

 **dadejokes:** ahahha is it 2 early, or is it 2 late?? mind=blown   

 

 **b** **unnyboi:** no   

 **bunnyboi:** never again 

 

 **G** **o** **rdonRamsayroastedme:** because I'm lazy so I didn't wanna make 2 lol  

 

 **themoominlover:** waow   

 **bunnyboi:** *slow clap*  

 **devil:** waow   

 **w** **herewereu?:** waow   

 **s** **mileyboi** **:** waow   

 **Dolphin laughter:** waow   

**J **isung Pwark:** _why?_**

 

 

**_*Sunday_   _05:12 AM*_**

**themoominlover:** Peter Pwarker stfu   05:12

 


	2. Feet, Despacito and Animal Planet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dolphin Laughter: we know stuff fam 
> 
> wherewereu: stuff we'd rather not know for sure  
> wherewereu: but unfortunately, this ain't that kind of fairytale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I made a thing.

*

 

*Saturday 1:30 PM*

 

 **minion-assailant:** Isn't it a little weird to have a group chat with the dreamies???  

 **minion-assailant:** I mean I love u guys, but there are some things u don't need to know lol 

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** Ahaha like u haven't already ruined any form of innocence left in our bodies  

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** we know stuff fam

 

 **wherewereu:** stuff we'd rather not know for sure 

 **wherewereu:** but unfortunately this ain't that kind of fairytale 

 

 **dadjokes:** sounds  _really_ bad *wipes tear away from eye* 

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** u know what else is bad? 

 

 **dadjokes:** wut?   

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** ur dad jokes 

 

 **dadjokes:** woaw....  _adam_

_**Jisung Pwark:**_ no  

 

**minion-assailant:** _anyways_

**minion-assailant:** what could u guys possibly know? 

 

 **devil:** hmm idk  

 **devil:** maybe something like the fact that Johnny is the most whining, needy sub in the history of subs? 

 

 **johnnys banana:** I-I.... Woaw  

 **johnnys banana:** I would defend myself and say I wasn't  

 **johnnys banana:** but ma momma didn't raise no liar  

 

 **johnnys banana:** how did u know tho?

 

 **devil:** yeah no. Not gonna rat Jaehyun out like that

 

 **jaethebooty:**.......  

 

 **devil:** oh shit   

 **devil:** srry hyung   

 

 **jaethebooty:** fuck u duckie  

 

 **devil:** waow rude, I didn't do it on purpose    

 **devil:** plus it's not like we all didn't already know 

 **devil:** the walls at the dorms are thin u know   

 

 **bunnyboi:** I am literally surrounded by idiots.   

 

 **johnnys banana:** JaeHYuN U WANT ME AND TEN TO TELL ALL THE GREAsy DETAILS ABOUT U HUH?!   

 

 **jaethebooty:** NO? pls don't.   

 

 **johnnys banana:** then STOP TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT OUR SEX LIFE   

 **johnnys banana:** otherwise I might start talking about a certain fetish of yours  

 

 **jaethebooty:** which one? AHAHAH I have nothing to hide, or be ashamed of   

 

 **devil:** u sound a little pressed there hyung 

 

 **jaethebooty:** not helping donghyuck   

 

 **johnnys banana:** ahah that's right honey, nothing to be ashamed of,  

 **johnnys banana:** even if you do like feet a little more than the average guy.   

 

 **smileyboi:** what  

 **devil:** wHat   

 **Jisung Pwark:** what    

 **Dolphin Laughter;** what   

 **themoominlover:** what   

 **wherewereu:** what 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** what 

 

 **jaethebooty:** JOhNnY  

 **jaethebooty:** hOw COulD yOu? 

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** that's some "top 10 anime betrayals" type of shit right there  

 

 **johnnys banana:** yeah, kind of embarrassing right? 

 

 **jaethebooty:** omg 

 **jaethebooty:** I TrUsTED u 

 

 **johnnys banana:** oh get over it

 

 **jaethebooty:** I'm- 

 **jaethebooty:** NEVER 

 

 **devil:** AHAHSDJKFG 

 **devil:** well u know what they say  

 **devil:** it's all just fun and games  

 **devil:** until u throw a tiny bit of foot fetish into the mix  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** that was so bad omg

 

 **devil:** let me live my life  

 

 

*Saturday 2:23 PM*

 

 

 **devil:** let's keep exposing people lmao, it's a really enjoyable way of wasting time   

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** that sounded so sad wtf   

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** but ok   

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Taeyong has a food kink  

 

 **TAE twink:**  MARK  

 **TAE twink:** THAT WAS OUR LITTLE SECRET 

 

 **devil:** how do u even know dis? 

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Ehhh  

 

 **devil:** Holy shit. 

 

 **minion-assailant:** so Taeyong likes younger men huh?   

 **minion-assailant:** same for women? 

 

 **TAE twink:** shut up Yuta, go fuck a minion somewhere  

 

 **minion-assailant:** well maybe I will  

 

 **TAE twink:** good   

 **minion-assailant:** fine   

 **TAE twink:** GOOD   

 **minion-assailant:** FINE   

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** aLrIGht ThEn  

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** next   

 

 **devil:** MaRk LeE  

 **devil:** WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS??   

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** "Srry Mark can't come to the phone right now"  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** Kun only ever sleeps in his own bed, maybe like once a week  

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** thanks Jisung   

 

 **devil:** we are not done here Lee.  

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** LIsten I dOn'T knoW wHat u ArE ACCUSING me of BUT-   

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** hyung shhh we ain't done yet   

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** did dis bish just "shs" me?   

 **ST(K)UNNING:** AFTER E CALLED ME OUT FOR BEING A HOE   

 

 **smileyboi:** Oh shit 

 

 **Dolphin laughter:** jisungah u better fucking hide  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** lol like he actually is gonna do shit 

 

 **smileyboi:** sweety I'm On chenles side in this, once I told him his cooking sucked  

 **smileyboi:** and after that, he didn't wanna stop playing fucking despacito   

 **smileyboi:** imagine it  

 **smileyboi:** despacito playing over and over again 

 **smileyboi:** no end   

 **smileyboi:** just one horrible never ending circle of pain  

 

 **Dolphin laughter:**....  

 

 **wherewereu:** bruh   

 

 **themoominlover:** sounds like you've been through some shit  

 

 **smileyboi:** I came out as a changed person.   

 

 **Dolphin laughter:** #pray for Jeno    

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** yeah not gonna risk it lol   

 **Jisung Pwark:** sorry hyung, it's just because you're such a great, loving, amazing man   

 **Jisung Pwark:** who chooses to love a lot  

 **Jisung Pwark:** why don't u come over and watch Animal Planet while giving me cuddles?  

 

 **Dolphin laughter:** sounds like Netflix and Chill to me   

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** ew    

 **ST(K)UNNING:** wtf  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** he is literally my brother/dad   

 **ST(K)UNNING:** I am literally his brother/dad    

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** but yes I'll be there in 5  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** noice   

 **Jisung Pwark:** could u buy some chips first tho  

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** I fucking hate u  

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** :(((   

 **Jisung Pwark:** pls hyyyung 

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:**.....  

 **ST(K)UNNING:** I'll be there in 15 then 

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** thanks <3   

 

 

 

*Saturday   5:45 PM*

 

 **TAE twink:** Woaw I'm soft wtf 


	3. Problems In Dreamieland?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just realise that the only one who is not 18 from the 00 line is Jaemin?
> 
> yes, yes I did
> 
>  
> 
> am I emo now cuz they're all grown up?
> 
> yes, yes I am. 
> 
>  
> 
> also just to be sure u remember who's who:  
> GordonRamsayroastedme = Mark  
> TAE twink = Taeyong  
> johnnys Banana = Johnny  
> Dolphin Laughter = Chenle  
> werewhereu = Jaemin  
> devil = Haechan  
> minion-assailant = Yuta  
> jaethebooty = Jaehyun  
> ten/ten = Ten  
> dreamfanatic =Lucas  
> uwu =Jungwoo  
> ST(K)UNNING = Kun  
> flexible101 = Winwin  
> themoominlover = Renjun  
> Jisung Pwark = Jisung  
> bunnyboi = Doyoung  
> dadjokes = Taeil  
> smileyboi = Jeno

*Sunday 8:10 PM* 

 

 **themoominlover:** ya  

 **themoominlover:** do anybody know where the fuck Jeno and Jaemin are?  

 **themoominlover:** cuz I don't lol 

 

 **ten/ten:** No   

 **TAE twink:** No    

 **Johnnys Banana:** Nope    

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Why?     

 **devil:** noo

 

 **dreamfanatic:** lol they probably be making out somewhere dark and sketchy  

 **dreamfanatic:** why?    

 

 **themoominlover:** making out??? really?  

 

 **dreamfanatic:** yeah? U haven't noticed the serious tension between them?  

 

 **themoominlover:** wtf no?   

 

 **dreamfanatic:** fam- ur their best friend how tf haven't u noticed? 

 

 **ten/ten:**  ^  

 

 **themoominlover:** ahahah we're all just very close  

 **themoominlover:** there's nothing romantic bout' that 

 

 **devil:** sounds fake but okay  

 

 **GordonRamseyroastedme:** shut the fucc up hyuck  

 

 **devil:** waow I. am. offended.

 

 **ten/ten:** maybe not between u and them then  

 **ten/ten:** but they definitely want to get in each other's pants 

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** baby no   

 **Johnnys Banana:** just no  

 **Johnnys Banana:** they're children    

 **Johnnys Banana:** (and don't hurt Renjuns feelings)   

 

 **ten/ten:** I mean we where fucking at 17,   

 **ten/ten:** plus the only not-legal one in the 00 line is Jaemin sooo     

 **ten/ten:** kids might be the wrong word    

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** shit u rite  

 **Johnnys Banana:** they didn't need to know that tho   

 **Johnnys Banana:** we're a bad influence  

 

 **ten/ten:** oh well, nothing new.

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** should we sit them down and have "the talk" maybe?   

 **Johnnys Banana:** I feel like we should    20:22 PM 

 **Johnnys Banana:** but I also lowkey wanna throw myself from the top of the sm building just thinking about it 

 

 **ten/ten:**......   

 **ten/ten:** let taeyong do it? 

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** let taeyong do it.

 

 **themoominlover:** yeah okay   

 **themoominlover:** this is all nice and shit   

 **themoominlover:** u know the way we're opening up to each other and etc.  

 **themoominlover:** BUT let's go back to me defending my friendship 

 **themoominlover:** the  _important_ stuff  

 

 **themoominlover:** if there was anything between them, they would've told me    

 

 **TAE twink:** u sure about that?    

 

 **themoominlover:** YES  

 **themoominlover:** we tell each other everything  

 **themoominlover:** I trust them  

 **themoominlover:** we're the nct trio  

 

_**themoominlover** : they wouldn't exclude me like that (message not sent)  _

 

 **TAE twink:** sorry to say this junnie but maybe u should be prepared for them becoming a thing and being all couply and shit  

 **TAE twink:** and Johnny, ten. Never in a million years am I gonna do **the talk** by myself 

 **TAE twink:**  Taeil is the oldest, let him suffer a little  

 

 **dadjokes:** I was  _attacked_    

 

 **themoominlover:** lol why would I prepare myself for that   

 **themoominlover:** AHAAHA I don't care about them being in a relationship  

 **themoominlover:** they could be the most PDAish couple ever to exist and 

 **themoominlover:** I STILL WOULDNT CARE    20:32 PM

 **themoominlover:** Jeno could hold mins hand all cutely while softly removing a strand of his beautiful light-brown hair from mins face  

 **themoominlover:** Jaemin could look into Jenos eyes and never look away, too mesmerized by the wonder that is Lee Jeno  

 **themoominlover:** BOTH WITH THEIR  STUPID SMILES ON DISPLAY- 

 

 **devil:** ehh 

 

 **themoominlover:** BitCH I'M nOt DOnE  

 

 **devil:** SUJU *sorry* 

 

 **themoominlover:** AnYWaY  

 **themoominlover:** AND I STILL WOULDN'T CARE BECAUSE THEY ARE MY BESTFRIENDS AND I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY  

 **themoominlover:** even if there's no Renjun in the picture 

 **themoominlover:** I still want them to be happy.   

 

 **dreamfanatic:** oh the sweet smell of denial   

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** Honey I-  

 **ST(K)UNNING:** Renjun are u okay?   

 

 **themoominlover:** AHAHA I'm fine   

 **themoominlover:** juuuust dandy    

 **themoominlover:** why?   

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** well for one because "AHAHAHA"   

 **ST(K)UNNING:** and two   

 **ST(K)UNNING:** u sound like a boy who just got his heart broken    

 

 **minion-assailant** : renjun + heartbroken?    

 **minion-assailant** : problems in dreamieland?   

 **minion-assailant** : shit is saucey wtf  

 **minion-assailant** : remember last time?  

 **minion-assailant** : the summer fight between hyuck and m0rk  

 **minion-assailant** : dreamies don't fuck around  

 

 **themoominlover:** well that's bullshit  

 **themoominlover:** I'm not heartbroken  

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** Renjuuun  

 

 **themoominlover:** IM noT  

 **themoominlover:** why would I be? 

 **themoominlover:** it's not like I went around thinking about unrealistic/silly things 

 **themoominlover:** I am however very tired  

 **themoominlover:** and since my two bestfriends apparently forgot about our coffee date  

 **themoominlover:** I mean ehh, our study session  

 **themoominlover:** I'm going to bed  

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** hyung u can study with me if u want

 **Dolphin Laughter:** we can even do it in chinese   

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : i know u like it when we do that   

 

 **themoominlover:** ahah that's very sweet of u lele   

 **themoominlover:** but my stomach hurts a little  

 **themoominlover:** and we have pratice tomorrow, I don't want to be sick 

 **themoominlover:** so I'm just gonna sleep   

 **themoominlover:** hopefully it doesn't hurt tomorrow 

 

 **ten/ten:** why do I feel like u're talking about two things at the same time

 **ten/ten:** wait- 

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** oh okay   

 **Dolphin Laughter:** goodnight hyung  <3    

 **Dolphin Laughter:** I love u     

 

 **TAE twink:** WE LOVE U*    

 **ST(K)UNNING:** ^    

 **minion-assailant** : ^    

 ** **ten/ten:** ** ^   

 **dreamfanatic:** ^   

 **Johnnys Banana:** ^  

 

 **themoominlover:** goodnight lele 

 **themoominlover:** ahah love u guys too :)  

 

 

*sunday   10:34 PM*

 

 **devil:** why tf would u bring up the summer fight, it hurts my soul to think about:(  

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** aww bro it made us the way we are now, every good friendship goes through hardships 

 

 **devil:** ahaha yeah, every friendship  

 **devil:** Best Bros For Life   

 **devil:** just u and me,    

 **devil:** the two bros    

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Love u bro  

 **devil:** love u more    

 

 **flexible101: .**    

**bunnyboi: .**

**dreamfanatic: .**

**UWU: .**

 

 **devil:** oh shit    

 **devil:** bro*    

 **devil:** ahah forgot the bro    

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** <333   

 

 **bunnyboi:** holy shit   

 **bunnyboi:** that was painful   

 

 **dreamfanatic:** if that wasn't the fucking definition of panicked gay  

 **dreamfanatic:** then I don't know what would be.  

 

 **devil:** excuse u 

 **devil:** I'm bisexual  

 

 **dreamfanatic:** AHAH ain't denying the "panicked" tho    

 

 **devil:** stfu  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I made it a little angsty because I've been looking for a fic where Renjun feels a little left out and misunderstands the other two. 
> 
> However this storyline is probably as angsty as it's gonna get, since it wasn't my intention to go full out angst on yall
> 
> also on another note, I've decided to make a lot of the characters bi or pan, since it may be a little unrealistic that everybody is gay, I also really wanna make an ace character, but I don't really know who it's gonna be yet, Jisung maybe? 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please feel free to comment and all that stuff 
> 
> have a nice day <3


	4. In this household we are all kun stans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bunnyboi: And lets instead focus on the wonder that is kun 
> 
> bunnyboi: I mean waow  
> bunnyboi: What  
> bunnyboi: A  
> bunnyboi: Man  
> bunnyboi: The definition of a Prince  
> bunnyboi: A chinese Prince  
> bunnyboi: A chinese Prince who really needs some more fucking recognition 
> 
> devil: Say it louder for the people in the back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry updating this has taken so long, I'll try to do it more often 
> 
>  
> 
> Uhh and Thanks to that one reader who suggested to make Doyoung asexual, this chapter is basically Lucas finding out/ me expressing my love for Kun, I hope u enjoy it:)

 

                 *Monday 6:12 PM*

 

  
**bunnyboi** : So        
**bunnyboi** : Lets look away from the oblivious idiots that are Jeno, Renjun and Jaemin for a sec      

 **Wherewereu** : Hey      

 **themoominlover** : LALALAL don't know what you're talking about     

  
**smileyboi** : Oblivious?     

 

 **bunnyboi** : And lets instead focus on the wonder that is kun     

 **bunnyboi** : I mean waow     
**bunnyboi** : What        
**bunnyboi** : A        
**bunnyboi** : Man        
**bunnyboi** : The definition of a Prince       
**bunnyboi** : A Chinese Prince       
**bunnyboi** : A Chinese Prince who really needs some more fucking recognition      

 **devil** : Say it louder for the people in the back      

 **bunnyboi** : I MEAN HE'S GREAT     

 **bunnyboi** : Talented        
**bunnyboi** : Beautiful       
**bunnyboi** : Outstanding      
**bunnyboi** : Amazing        
**bunnyboi** : Show stopping        
**bunnyboi** : spectacular        
**bunnyboi** : Has a great personality       
**bunnyboi** : Is A good cook       
**bunnyboi** : The Master of cuddles-      

 **Flexible101** : Hella good in bed      

 

 **uwu** : I-        
**uwu** : Well that escalated quickly        
**uwu** : I was about to say how this was probably the sweetest I've seen Doyoung     

 **uwu** : And then winwin comes and ruins the moment   

 

 **Flexible101** : Oh Well we ARE talking about all the good things that is to say about kun.    
**Flexible101** : I couldn't not talk about a  

 **Flexible101** : very      

 **Flexible101** : Very impressive skill he possesses  

 

 **uwu** : That sounded so creepy omg      

 

 **Flexible101** : Sorry not Sorry      

 

 **uwu** : Kinda impressed it wasn't Lucas to be honest   

 **dreamfanatic** : Well        
**dreamfanatic** : I wasn't fast enough:((        
**dreamfanatic** : I haven't even slept with the guy and I was about to write the      

 **dreamfanatic** : exact    
**dreamfanatic** : same    
**dreamfanatic** : thing   

 **uwu** : Of course u were   

 

 **dreamfanatic** : Doyoung ur his main man, is he as good as I think he is     

  
**dreamfanatic** : Is he a magician in the bed too? 

  
**dreamfanatic** : Sweet in the streets a freak in the sheets   

 

 **bunnyboi** : I've never wanted to block somebody in real life as much as I wanna do it to you right now   

 **bunnyboi** : And I wouldn't know       
**bunnyboi** : We've never done it before    

 

 **dreamfanatic** : "Spits water out of mouth from shock"      
**dreamfanatic** : Really?        
**dreamfanatic** : For realsies?      

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme** : Bro       
**TAE** **twink** : Lucas-       
**uwu** : "Facepalms"      

 

 **bunnyboi** : Yeah?      

 **dreamfanatic** : H o w      

 **bunnyboi** : How what?     

 **dreamfanatic** : How is that possible   
**dreamfanatic** : I mean       
**dreamfanatic** : Have u seen kun

 **bunnyboi** : Yes I have seen my boyfriend   
**bunnyboi** : Have u?      

 **dreamfanatic** : Well Yeah otherwise I wouldn't be this shooketh       
**dreamfanatic** : Why not?      

 **bunnyboi** : Ahaha Well i kinda thought u knew?      

 **dreamfanatic** : Knew what?     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme** : Woaw he really doesn't know        
**Jisung** **Pwark** : Wtf        
**GordonRamsayroastedme** : but, everybody knows       
**TAE** **twink** : How is that even possible       
**TAE** **twink** : We talked about this at dinner last night    

 

 **Flexible101** : Lucas was probably too focused on Brother Bear playing on the tv    

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : To be fair     
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : That movie is a fucking masterpiece      

 **dreamfanatic** : ^     

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : I just wanna say I feel very uncomfortable talking about kun like this    

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : But for some reason, I can't look away      

 

 **bunnyboi** : That I'm not into stuff like that   

 **dreamfanatic** : Stuff?     

 **bunnyboi** : Sex Lucas       
**bunnyboi** : I don't feel the need or want to do anything sexual      
**bunnyboi** : With anybody    

 **dreamfanatic** : Oh       
**dreamfanatic** : OH    

 

 **uwu** : And so he realized   
**uwu** : That it was possible not wanting to fuck 25/8    

 

 **dreamfanatic** : How does that work?       
**dreamfanatic** : U know with kun being kun       
**dreamfanatic** : If u don't mind me asking of course     

 

 **bunnyboi** : Is all good Lucas don't worry bout it [^•^]      
**bunnyboi** : Ahaha it works just fine       
**bunnyboi** : It did take some time/work tho        
**bunnyboi** : It can be hard to understand why ur boyfriend doesn't want to do anything sexual with u, even if u already have had the talk about asexuality    

 **bunnyboi** : But kun        
**bunnyboi** : Omg kun was so understanding, he was sad at first, because he felt as though I didn't really love him as much as he loved me    

 **bunnyboi** : I told him he was crazy       
**bunnyboi** : That I never had felt this way about anyone before(and it kinda scared the shit out of me)      

 **bunnyboi** : That me being ace didn't make me love him any less, or make me feel fewer emotions in general. It just meant that I wanted to lay with him on the couch, legs tangled together watching our favorite show, talking. Rather than tangle our sheets while doing the sexysex      

 **bunnyboi** : I also told him that I didn't want a sexual relationship, and if that was the only thing he wanted from me, he might as well just give up before the opening shot      

 

 **dreamfanatic** : That's good hyung      

 

 **devil** : Hyyung why have I never heard this story before        
**devil** : The start of kun/doyoung        
**devil** : I'm kinda emotional, not gonna lie     

 

 **bunnyboi** : Plus        
**bunnyboi** : I let him sleep around a little        
**bunnyboi** : Hence        
**bunnyboi** : why winwin knows shit      

 

 **devil** : Aaaaand again the moment is ruined          
**devil** : This time by the very man who created it        
**devil** : This is why we can't have nice things      

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Doyoung hyung?      

 **minion** - **assailant** : Waow jisung being respectful and shit        
**minion** - **assailant** : Somebody find the camera      

 

 **bunnyboi** : Not now idiot        
**bunnyboi** : Yes jisungie?     

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Ahaha I was just wondering      

 

 **bunnyboi** : Wondering about what?      

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Eeeh        
**Jisung** **Pwark** : About        
**Jisung Pwark** : How you knew     

 

 **bunnyboi** : How I knew what     

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : How you _knew_      

 

 **bunnyboi** : ?      
**devil** : ?        
**minion** - **assaliant** : ?      

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Holy fuck        
**Jisung** **Pwark** : You know what        
**Jisung** **Pwark** : Nevermind   

 

 **bunnyboi** : No jisungggg        
**bunnyboi** : Talk to us     

 **minion** - **assaliant** : Leeeet usss heeelp uuuu   

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : I would love to stay longer but-     
**Jisung** **Pwark** : Oh chenle called gotta go    

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : I am literally sitting       
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Right     
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : beside   
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : U      

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Stfu chenle   

 

 **bunnyboi** : This conversation can be started again whenever u want jisung.        
**bunnyboi** : I just want u to know that     

 **minion** - **assaliant** : Yeah        
**minion** - **assaliant** : U can come to us        
**minion** - **assaliant** : Always      

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : Thank u guys, it means a lot.    

 

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : Bro        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Did u just        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Treat me       
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Chenle        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : like every other member of NCT        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : My own best friend    
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : :((((    

 

 **Jisung** **Pwark**. Sorry bro        
**Jisung** **Pwark** : U know I Love u    

 

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : .......      

 

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : :))))        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Love u too      

 

  
              *Monday 8:45 PM*

 

 **JohnnysBanana** : Yo      
**JohnnysBanana** : 'treat me'        
**JohnnysBanana** : 'Chenle'       
**JohnnysBanana** : 'NCT'        
**JohnnysBanana** : It rhymes      
**JohnnysBanana** : Nice one lele      

 

 **devil** : The fu-?      

 

 **TAE** **twink** : Honey no        
**TAE** **twink** : Chenle is not pronounced as chen Lee      

 

 **devil** : And NCT???      
**devil** : How tf does that rhyme with Chenle and/or 'treat me' ?    

 

 **JohnnysBanana** : Wait       
**JohnnysBanana** : It's not??        
**JohnnysBanana** : For real    

 

 **TAE** **twink** : Yes for real       
**TAE** **twink** : Did u seriously not know this?  
**TAE** **twink** : You've known each other for years?? 

 

 **JohnnysBanana** : Wtf      
**JohnnysBanana** : All the times he has ignored me in public suddenly makes sense       
**JohnnysBanana** : He didn't know I was calling for him     

 

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : Oh       
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : No        
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : Hyung       
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : I did know       
**Dolphin** **Laughter** : I just didn't want people to think we knew each other   

 

 **JohnnysBanana** : Woaw.  

 **devil** : ~CoNcEaL dOnT fEEl DoNt LeT ThEM kNoOw ~  

 **GordonRamsayroastedme** : :00 

 **Jisung** **Pwark** : oH sHiT     
**Jisung** **Pwark** : this is why he's my favorite   

 **TAE** **twink** : *Johnnys scandalised voice* CHEN LEE  

 **Dolphin** **Laughter** : :)) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	5. "ahahha butterflies and rainbows taeil" vs. "bitter af taeil" choose your fighter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minion-assailant: all I said was 
> 
> minion-assailant: "hey taeil, maybe you're not really in love" 
> 
> minion-assailant: and this shit is thrown back at me 
> 
>  
> 
> minion-assailant: I AM HILARIOUS OKAY 
> 
> minion-assailant: FUCK YOU

 

 

* Thursday 06:47 PM *

 

 **dadjokes:** I taeil, am in love     

 

 **minion-assailant:** Woaw what a surprise      

 **minion-assailant:** You're always "in love"     

 

 **dadjokes:** ehh no?    

 

 **minion-assailant:** eh yes??    

 **minion-assailant:** I mean, remember the girl who interviewed us in the US?    

 **minion-assailant:** You were sure u never would be able to love again.     

 

 **minion-assailant:** then u met the buzzfeed-guy and fed him with fucking hearts in your eyes,     

 **minion-assailant:** I mean u got over ur "one true love" pretty fucking quickly     

 

 **minion-assailant:** Then again last week u came home, slammed the door open, and yelled out the lyrics to 'you're beautiful' by James Blunt.     

 **minion-assailant:** you yet again had found another infatuation     

 

 **dadjokes:** okay, I know that there have been a few     

 **dadjokes:** BUT IM JUST TRYING TO FIND LOVE     

 **dadjokes:** SO LET ME BE HAPPY AND LET ME SHARE WITH U GUYS     

 

 **minion-assailant:** AlRighT Jisoos Christ     

 

 **dadjokes:** Jisoos Christ?     

 **dadjokes: (** And I'm the one you call dadjokes lol, yuta literally comes with the weakest shit ^^^ )     

 

 **jaethebooty:** Woaw damn   

 

 **devil:** Don't mess with taeil I guess      

 

 **minion-assailant:** all I said was    

 **minion-assailant:** "hey taeil, maybe you're not  _really_ in love"    

 **minion-assailant:** and this shit is thrown back at me     

 

 **minion-assailant:** I AM HILARIOUS OKAY     

 **minion-assailant:** FUCK YOU     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** What happed to 'Ahahah butterflies and rainbows taeil'?     

 

 **dadjokes:** he died a year ago     

 **dadjokes:** alongside the Jisoos Christ meme     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** well may he rest in rip    

 

 **devil:** Bro that was just as bad     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** aT LeaST Im TRyInG     

 

 **devil:** you get an A for effort     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** thanks   

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** real appreciation     

 

 **minion-assailant:** Can we built a timetravelling machine and save butterfly taeil before it's too late?     

 

 **jaethebooty: *** butterfly taeil to bitter af taeil*   "mr moon, I- I don't feel so good"     

 

 **Flexible101:** _no_      

 

 **devil:** It really doesn't get better huh?    

 **devil:** Life     

 **devil:** The Memes     

 

 **devil:**...     

 

 **devil:** (I'm looking at you jaehyun)     

 

 **jaethebooty:** I feel like every time I look or write in this chat    

 **jaethebooty:** The next thing I feel is just

 **jaethebooty:** utter 

 **jaethebooty:** regret.     

 

 **Jisung Park:** Deep voice "Why are we here, just to suffer?"   

 

 **jaethebooty:** not even gonna comment on that one   

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** :((    

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** yo   

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** bad memes aside     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Isn't it a little weird that we're writing in here?    

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Like we're all literally sitting in the same room     

 

 **minion-assailant:**.....    

 **Jisung** **Pwark:**.....     

 **dadjokes:**.....    

 **devil:**.     

 

 **devil:** way to ruin the conversation MARK     

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** I-    

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** I'M JUST ASKING A QUESTION JESUS     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** WHO HURT YOU     

 

 **devil:** * **whispers*** eeeeverybody   

 

 **jaethebooty:** I mean    

 **jaethebooty:** the reason why I'M writing instead of talking is because I'm tired af     

 **jaethebooty:** and my voice isn't functioning as it should right now     

 **jaethebooty:** too many hours in the studio/recording booth I guess     

 

 **ten/ten:** waow    

 **ten/ten:** we love a hard working king     

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** you just sitting in the studio blazing some new songs?    

 

 **jaethebooty: '** blazing' wtf Johnny?    

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** IM JUST SITTIN' IN THE STUDIO JUST TRYNA GET TO YOU, BABY     

 **Johnnys Banana:** BUT THIS SONG SO FUCKING DOPE, GIRL IT HARDER NOT FOR ME TO BLAZE IT      

 

 **jaethebooty:** OH:)    

 

 _ **jaethebooty:** TELL THE TRUTH, WISH IT WAS YOU(ten, Johnny, Taeyong) IN THIS BOOTH THAT I WAS BLAZIN' _ _SO IM JUST SITTING IN THE STUDIO JUST TRYNA GET TO YOU, BABY    *Message not sent*_

 

 **jaethebooty:** TO TELL THE TRUTH, WISH IT WAS YOU -(ten, Johnny)- IN THIS BOOTH THAT I WAS BLAZIN'      

 **jaethebooty:** SO IM JUST SITTING IN THE STUDIO JUST TRYNA GET TO YOU, BABY     

 

 ** _TAE twink:_** just, _ten and Johnny?     *Message not sent*_

 

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** that was-     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** that was almost cute in a way     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** lookin' away from the fact that it was a schoolboy q song they were reciting     

 

 **ten/ten:** aaaw baby      

 **ten/ten:** you're such a romantic     

 **ten/ten:** serenading us     

 **ten/ten:** over a text    

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** is this why u tried calling, like three hours ago?     

 **Johnnys Banana:** sorry I didn't answer, I was at a meeting    

 **Johnnys Banana:** kinda regret it now      

 **Johnnys Banana:** but I mean,,,,,,,     

 

_**Johnnys Banana:** ten, jaehyun, taeyong       *Message not sent* _

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** ten, jaehyun     

 **Johnnys Banana:** wanna go to our room?     

 **Johnnys Banana:** im kinda tried      

 

 **jaethebooty:** oh really?:)     

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** yeah veryyyyy ;)     

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** (why the use of emojis??? Could u guys be more cringe worthy)     

 

 **jaethebooty:** lol same      

 

 _ **devil: "** lol"?     _ 

 **Johnnys Banana:**.....      

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** bruh      

 **Flexible101:** sexting:  **failed**  

 

 **jaethebooty:** what?? I am     

 **jaethebooty:** I just told u guys     

 **jaethebooty:** it feels like I could pass out at any moment right now     

 

 **ten/ten:** wait really?      

 

 **jaethebooty:** yeah      

 

 **TAE twink:** jaehyun      

 **TAE twink:** why haven't you gone to bed then?     

 

 **ten/ten:** it's not healthy forcing yourself to stay awake baby    

 

 **jaethebooty:** well I didn't want to sleep alone:(((     

 **jaethebooty:** I miss you guys      

 **jaethebooty:** we've all been working so much lately, and I feel like we haven't really been able to be together and spend some time alone    

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** honeeeey      

 **Johnnys Banana:** let's go to bed and have an all-night cuddle session    

 **Johnnys Banana:** right now.    

 

 **ten/ten:** yeah     

 **ten/ten:** I miss my boyfriends     

 **ten/ten:** s o much     

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** ^     

 

 **jaethebooty:** we don't HAVE to do it right now    

 **jaethebooty:** if there's something more important you need to do     

 **jaethebooty:** I mean I get it    

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** no     

 **Johnnys Banana:** there isn't     

 **Johnnys Banana:** nothings more important than you honey    

 **Johnnys Banana:** than our relationship     

 

 **jaethebooty:** okay     

 **jaethebooty:** im going to our room then     

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** good <3 I'll get som extra blankets      

 **Johnnys Banana:** ten baby can you please get tae- I mean som snacks      

 

 **ten/ten:** already on my way to the kitchen johnnyboi     

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** great     

 

 **jaethebooty:** pls hurryyyyy      

 

 **Johnnys Banana:** we will<3   

 **ten/ten:** ^     

 

 

 

 **devil:** holy fuck I'm alone     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** same     

_**TAE twink;** ^   *Message not sent* _

 

 

 

*Thursday  08:00 PM*

 

 

 

 **minion-assailant:** Well I'm funnier on the internet    

 

 **dadjokes:** oh sweety, u ain't funny where ever u are    

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** holy shit    

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** what a slow reply     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** like it's been 30 fucking minutes      

 

 **minion-assailant:** not my fault     

 **minion-assailant:** tenjaejohn, or whatever decided to be the definition of couple goals and I needed some time to get over it    

 

 **minion-assailant:** and    

 

 **minion-assailant:** TAeiL     

 

 **Flexible101:** an update has been made, now, if you look up 'taeils personal punching bag' in the dictionary,     

 **Flexible101:** a picture of Yuta smiling through the pain will be the only thing there    

 

 **wherewereu:** remind me never to start shit with taeil   

 **wherewereu:** Like      

 **wherewereu:** He ain't fucking around     

 

 **devil:** ^     

 **Flexible101:** ^     

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** ^    

 

 

 

*Thursday 08:32*

 

 **dadjokes:** I live with a lot of anger okay     

 **dadjokes:** Comes with being talented, yet underappreciated   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	6. a threesome can't be a threesome with only two participants( or nomin being sad and gay for renjun, without renjun knowing of course)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun just wanted a glass of milk, not to get his heart broken.

 

***Wednesday  02:34 AM***

 

 **Wherewereu?:** guys.       

 **Wherewereu?:** would you please come to renjuns room     

 **Wherewereu?:** me and jeno is kind of having a situation

 

 ** **TAE twink** :** a situation?

 **TAE twink:** pls explain

 

 **Wherewereu?:** I think we killed renjun

 

 ** **TAE twink** :** what

 **ST(K)UNNING:**  what

 **minion-assailant:** what

 **Jisung Pwark:** how

 **Dolphin Laughter:** I will not help you hide the body

 **Dolphin Laughter:** renjun was my favorite wtf

 

 **dreamfanatic:** I mean like, same

 **Jisung Pwark:** ^

 **minion-assailant:** ^

 **devil:** ^

 **uwu:** ^

 

 **smileyboi _:_ ** GUyS

 **smileyboi _:_ ** WE’RE HAVING A REAL PROBLEM HERE

 **smileyboi _:_ ** SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME TO RENJUNS ROOM

 

 **Wherewereu?:** what jeno said

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:**   sooo

 **ST(K)UNNING:**   how did the two of you kill our beloved renjun at 2 AM?

 

 **Wherewereu?:** ahaha

 **Wherewereu?:** AHAHAH

 ** **Wherewereu?:**** ha

 **Wherewereu?:** is The How really that important?

 

 **TAE twink:** yes

 **TAE twink:**  "The How" is what decides if I actually am going to get out of bed or not

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:**  : ^

 

 **Wherewereu?:** fine

 **Wherewereu?:** he might have seen something he wasn’t prepared to see

 **Wherewereu?:** and he might have run away before we could say/explain what happened

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** was- was it you who made those weird sounds coming from the kitchen?

 

 **Wherewereu?:** ehhm

 **Wherewereu?:** …...

 **Wherewereu?:** no?

 

 **devil:** JAEMIN

 **devil:** JENO

 

 **Wherewereu?:** shit got to go, my shoe ran away

 

 **devil:** how-?

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** hyuckie

 **devil:** yes?

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** summer camp.

 **devil:** suddenly I have no questions

 

 **Wherewereu?:** thanks mark

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** you owe me

 **Wherewereu?:** noted.

 

 **TAE twink:** DID YOU HAVE SEX IN MY KITCHEN

 **minion-assailant:** oh hey taeyong

 **TAE twink:** NOT NOW

 **minion-assailant:** alright then.

 

 

 **Wherewereu?:** will my boyish charm and my love for NCT and your food save me from any kind of punishment if we had?(+ if we ever are to do it in the future?)

 

 **TAE twink:** NO, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO CLEAN IT YESTERDAY??

 

 **Wherewereu?:** ups;)

 

 ** **TAE twink** : **JaEMin

 

 **Wherewereu?:** ;)))))

 

 ** **TAE twink** : **what has happened to my innocent child

 

 **Wherewereu?:** he grew up and evolved a love for cute boys

_**Wherewereu?:** one of which is currently in his room refusing to let us in.     message not sent_

 

 

 **smileyboi:** JAEMIN STOP FUCKING AROUND

 **smileyboi:** WE DIDN’T HAVE SEX

 **smileyboi:** WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE

 **smileyboi:** WE JUST MADE OUT JESUS

 

 **minion-assailant:** :O

 **dreamfanatic:** :O

 **Dolphin Laughter:** :O

 **devil:** :O

 

 **Wherewereu?:** jeno

 **smileyboi:** it slipped out, it just slipped out

 **smileyboi:** fuck.

 

 **dreamfanatic:** ARE THE TWO OF YOU DATING??

 

 **Wherewereu?:** no

 **smileyboi:** yes

 

 **Wherewereu?:** yes

 **smileyboi:** no

 

 **devil:** waow

 **devil:** real convincing guys

 

 **Wherewereu?:** stfu for once, please

 

 **devil:** :O

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** don’t worry hyuck I got you

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** NO YOU

 

 

 **minion-assailant:** woaw look at mark standing up for his mans

 ** **minion-assailant:** ** he attacc, but he also protecc

 **minion-assailant:** I MEANT BEST BRO*

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** I wouldn’t even call that standing up for somebody

 **Jisung Pwark:** more the weakest attempt of being memey I have seen in years

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** you hurt me 

 

 **minion-assailant:** lol like you’re one to talk, I literally saw you laughing at a minion meme some days ago

 **minion-assailant:** the lowest of all memes

 **minion-assailant:** the plague of the internet

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** I just want you to know that I despise you

 **Jisung Pwark:** and at least I haven't had a sexual awakening because of said plague of the internet 

 **Jisung Pwark:** bitch

 

 **minion-assailant:**  I have fallen and I can't come back up 

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** good.

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** I just love the love and joy we all get from each other in this group

 **Dolphin Laughter:** only positivity, no bad vibes

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** love the irony

 **Jisung Pwark:** hate the words

 **dreamfanatic:** ^

 **devil:** ^

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** ^

 

 **Wherewereu?:** LETS GET BACK ON TRACK PEOPLE

 

 **dreamfanatic:** OH SHIT YOU RIGHT

 **dreamfanatic:** HOW LONG HAVE YOU AND JENO BEEN DATING

 

 **smileyboi:** NO

 **Wherewereu?:** NO

 **smileyboi:** NOT THAT

 **smileyboi:** RENJUN

 **smileyboi:** GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP US

 

 **devil:** oh shit

 **TAE twink:** oh shit

 **ST(K)UNNING:**  oh shit

 

 **Wherewereu?:** FUCK I THINK HE’S CRYING

 **Wherewereu?:** WHY WOULD HE CRY

 **Wherewereu?:** OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO

 

 **ten/ten:** update: taeyong just jumped out of bed and sprinted to the dreamies

 

 **devil:** oh look who be creeping in the gc 

 

 **minion-assailant:** how do you know that?

 **jaethebooty:** ..

 **johnnys Banana:** ..

 **ten/ten:**..

 

 **ten/ten:** sleepover?

 **minion-assailant:**  good enough.

 

 **bunnyboi:** update part two: kun just jumped out of bed and sprinted to the dreamies

 

 **themoominlover:** dont come over here

 

 **smileyboi:** RENJUN

 **Wherewereu?:** BABY

 **smileyboi:** LET US IN

 

 **minion-assailant:** …..

 **Wherewereu?:** what

 **minion-assailant:** baby?

 **Wherewereu?:** ehhh

 **smileyboi:** he said what he said

 **minion-assailant:** fair enough

 

 **themoominlover:** you shouldn’t call me that tho

 **themoominlover:** call jeno that 

 **themoominlover:** and leave me alone, it’s late and we all have practice tomorrow

 **themoominlover:** kun and taeyong I dont need comfort and there is no situation going on, so please just let me sleep

 

 **smileyboi:** renjun-

 

 **themoominlover:** no

 **themoominlover:** good night

 

 **Wherewereu?:** alright.

 **smileyboi:** good night guys

 

 **Dolphin Laughter:** night

 **dreamfanatic:** ^

 **devil:** ^

 **TAE twink:** ^

 **minion-assailant:** ^

 

 ***private chat between lee** jeno **and** najaemin *****

 

 **smileyboi:** did you see how cute renjun looked today

 **Wherewereu?:** yeah

 **smileyboi:** we really need to tell him soon, I  legit cant look at him without wanting to kiss him

 **Wherewereu?:** same

 **Wherewereu?:** especially after he got that light hair

 **smileyboi:** damn

 

* **Wednesday 03:55 AM***

 

 **Wherewereu?:** jeno?

 **smileyboi:** yes?

 **Wherewereu?:** I think we fucked up

 **smileyboi:** yes

 **Wherewereu?:** we should have told him

 **smileyboi:** yes

 **Wherewereu?:** we should have kissed him too

 **smileyboi:** yes

 

 

 ***private chat between** taeyong **and** renjun *****

 **TAE twink:** honey

 

 **themoominlover:** leave me alone hyung

 

 **TAE twink:** it is okay to be sad you know

 

 **themoominlover:** there isn’t anything to be sad about

 **themoominlover:** they never said anything which could indicate any form of want for a relationship

 **themoominlover:** it was me who misunderstood the signals

 **themoominlover:** I just need to suck it up and get over it

 

 **TAE twink:** are you sure about that?

 

 **themoominlover:** yes I’m sure

 

 **TAE twink:** okay, whatever you think is best, I will support, just know that you always can come to hyung

 **TAE twink:** but how are you planning to move on?

 

 **themoominlover:** I truly have no idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, have a wonderful day<3


	7. Jaehyun just wanted some milk and a stir fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> devil: Actually, the question was for jaehyun 
> 
> GordonRamsayroastedme: Jaehyun?
> 
>  
> 
> TAE twink: What   
> Johnnys Banana: What   
> ten/ten: What 
> 
> ten/ten: boiii stay in ur lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the names:   
> GordonRamsayroastedme = Mark  
> TAE twink = Taeyong  
> johnnys Banana = Johnny  
> (Dolphin Laughter) THE chinese mafia = Chenle  
> werewhereu = Jaemin  
> devil = Haechan  
> minion-assailant = Yuta  
> jaethebooty = Jaehyun  
> ten/ten = Ten  
> dreamfanatic =Lucas  
> uwu =Jungwoo  
> ST(K)UNNING = Kun  
> flexible101 = Winwin  
> themoominlover = Renjun  
> Jisung Pwark = Jisung  
> bunnyboi = Doyoung  
> dadjokes = Taeil  
> smileyboi = Jeno

 

***friday 07:45 PM***

 

 

 **devil:** okay so I know things are kind of tense at the moment  
 **devil:** but I have a very important question to ask 

  
**smileyboi:** anybody being tense?   
**smileyboi:** I'm NOT being tense   
**smileyboi:** I feel perfectly relaxed Thank You Very Much

  
 **devil:** yeah   
**devil:** sure sweety   
**devil:** back to my question

 

 **smileyboi:** fuck you

  
  
 **uwu:** what is it hyuck  
  
  
 **devil:** its something I've been thinking about for some time now   
**devil:**  but I don't really know how to ask

  
  
 **uwu:** Omg

  
 **devil:** Omg?

  
  
 **uwu:** is this happening

  
  
 **devil:** what   
**devil:** wait this wasn't how it was supposed to go

  
  
 **uwu:** Is it perhaps something about our favorite markiepoo?   
  
**devil:** Mark   
**devil:** Fuck 

 **devil:** abort mission

 **devil:** AbOrT misSION

 **devil:** I mean  
 **devil:** no   
**devil:** ahaha why would it be

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** oh?  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** what do you want to ask me hyuckie?

  
 **devil:** NOTHING

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** u sure?

 **devil:** YES  
 **devil:** Actually, the question was for jaehyun   
  
**GordonRamsayroastedme:** Jaehyun?

  
  
 **TAE twink:** What   
**Johnnys Banana:** What   
**ten/ten:** What   
  
**ten/ten:** boiii stay in ur lane 

  
  
 **devil:**  omg   
**devil:** Jesus fucking Christ let a man ask

 **devil:** a

 **devil:** fucking

 **devil:** question

  
  
 **Johnnys Banana:** Alright   
 **ten/ten:** Go on

 

  
 **devil:** THANK YOU

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** Well?

  
  
 **devil:** :)))  
 **devil:** Jaehyun

 

 **jaethebooty:** I don't like where this is going

  
 **ten/ten:** this better be fucking good

  
  
 **devil:** do you still just want some milk?

  
  
 **Johnnys Banana:** Wtf-

  
  
 **Jisung Pwark:** I don't understand?

  
 **ten/ten:** u don't want to understand this honey  
 **ten/ten:** sweet, sweet oblivion.

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** Oh no  
 **devil:** Oh yes

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:**  suddenly I'm lactose intolerant

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** plz don't do this   
**jaethebooty:** I was young and dumb and wanted to flex my bilingual skills

  
  
 **devil:**  well they were flexed alright   
**devil:**  especially on the young man Kevin, who you so desperately wanted to come to your birthday party

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** MiStAkES WErE mAdE

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:**  listen to your own advice  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:**  be quiet, don't cry   
  
**jaethebooty:** not you too

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** love you, appreciate you

 **jaethebooty:** snake

  
  
 **devil:**  yeah and now you face the consequences

  
 **devil:** YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES JAEHYUN

  
 **devil:** BE A MAN

  
  
 **minion-assailant:** woaw brave of you to assume a woman wouldn't handle this better

  
  
 **devil:**  woaw brave of you to assume I assumed a woman wouldn't handle this better

  
  
 **minion-assailant:**  woaw brave of you to assume that I assumed that you assumed that a woman wouldn't handle this better

  
  
 **devil:** WOAW BRAVE OF YOU TO ASSUME THAT I ASSUMED THAT YOU ASSUMED THAT I ASSUMED YOU ASSUMED A WOMAN WOULDN'T HANDLE THIS BETTER  
  
 **devil:**  very unwoke of you I must say

  
  
 **ten/ten:** ehhh  
 **ten/ten:** What?

  
  
 **minion-assailant:** What   
**devil:** What

  
  
 **ten/ten:** ALRIghThYrIgHt

  
  
 **Jisung Pwark:** Inset the meme where the two spidermen point at each other

  
  
 **TAE twink:** Anyone would be better than jaehyun to face a problem   
**TAE twink:** I mean look at him  
  
 **TAE twink:** This bitch likes to run away from things when they become difficult

  
  
 **minion-assailant:** Reeh I sense tension   
**minion-assailant:** What did jaehyun do

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** Jesus Christ Taeyong I have apologized like 39 times already   
  
**jaethebooty:** how was I supposed to know that you have to stir a stir fry if you don't want it to burn?

  
  
 **TAE twink:** YOU CAUSED A FIRE JAEHYUN   
**TAE twink:** THEN YOU JUST LOOKED AT ME, SAID UPS AND WALKED OUT AGAIN   
  
**TAE twink:** YOU LEFT ME TO PUT OUT THE FIRE   
  
**TAE twink:** AND YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE PAN

  
  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** his favorite pan?   
**ST(K)UNNING:** Woaw even I ain't allowed near that shit

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** Oh?

  
  
 **TAE twink:** That isn't the point

  
  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** Ohiho I think it is

  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** why can jaehyun, a disaster in the kitchen use your favorite pan   
  
**ST(K)UNNING:** but I- an amazing cook will be glared at for even suggesting it?

  
  
 **minion-assailant:** I smell favoritism

  
  
 **TAE twink:** Oh please like kun isn't everybody's favorite in this group

  
 **ten/ten:** ^  
 **flexible101** ^  
 **uwu:** ^  
 **Jisung Pwark:** ^  
 **devil:** ^  
 **minion-assailant:** ^  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** ^

  
 **bunnyboi:** I lowkey would throw any one of you into a volcano if you ever hurt him   
**bunnyboi:** Even Jisung 

  
**TAE twink:** Gasp

  
  
 **Jisung Pwark:** But I mean   
**Jisung Pwark:** I would let you

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** that's Real Love right there

  
  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** If any of you ever were to harm Jisung in **_Any Way_**

  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** Then I would find you,

 **Dolphin Laughter:** chop you up

 **Dolphin Laughter:** and then dispose your body in the sea 

  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** I know the chinese mafia, and I certainly am able to pay for not only you(any of you) to never be found again,

 **Dolphin Laughter:** but also for the police to look the other way if any evidence ever were to come up

 

 **bunnyboi:**.

 **minion-assailant:** .

 **devil:** boi

 **Jisung Pwark:** <3

  
  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** I mean,,, ahaha relatable

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Mom can you come pick me up I'm scared

  
  
 **bunnyboi:** Wtf-  
 **bunnyboi:** I-  
 **bunnyboi:** I suddenly have the intense desire to flee the country

  
  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** I would like to see you try

  
  
 **bunnyboi:** :00

  
  
 **minion-assailant:**  me too  
 **minion-assailant:**  and I didn't even suggest to throw Jisung into a volcano

  
  
 **bunnyboi:** Ahaha fun fun, very fun   
**bunnyboi:** Lets NOT dwell on the past

  
  
 **devil:**  yeah   
**devil:**  I mean   
**devil:**  be like elsa and let it go

 

  
  
 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** .

  
 **Jisung Pwark:** .

  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** .

  
 **ST(K)UNNING:**.

 

 

 **devil:** ........  
  
 **devil:** that was low even for me

 

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** .

 **Jisung Pwark:**.

 **ST(K)UNNING:**.

**Dolphin Laughter: .**

 

  
 **devil:** I think I'm just gonna walk myself out now  
  
 **devil:**  preferably over the edge of a cliff as well

  
  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** normally I would step in and say no, no cliff for you, its winter and the water below the cliff is freezing  
  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** but then I remembered,  
 **ST(K)UNNING:** the cold never bothered you anyway

  
  
 **bunnyboi:** I want to die

  
 **Jisung Pwark:** ^  
 **Dolphin Laughter:** ^  
 **devil:** ^  
 **jaethebooty:** ^  
 **flexible101:** ^  
  


 

  
**Private chat between Taeyong and jaehyun**

  
  
**jaethebooty:** I really am sorry for ruining your pan yongie  
  
 **jaethebooty:** I promise I will buy you a new one   
**jaethebooty:** and I also promisee to stay OUT of the kitchen   
**jaethebooty:** unless you want me in there of course;)

  
 **TAE twink:**  you're such a fucking idiot   
**TAE twink:**  come to my room and show me how sorry you are 

  
**jaethebooty:** Oh;)

  
  
 **TAE twink:**  with cuddles

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** Oh;)

  
 **TAE twink:**  be discreet tho   
**TAE twink:** I think the younglings are in the living room

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** of course, do you need anything?   
**jaethebooty:** can I get you something?

  
  
 **TAE twink:**  is ten and Johnny nearby?

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** no:( ten is dancing and Johnny is out DJing

  
 **TAE twink:** Oh shout that was today   
**TAE twink:** I hope he is enjoying himself 

  
**jaethebooty:** he probably would enjoy himself more in your bed, but we all cant be that lucky

 **jaethebooty:** can we now

  
  
 **TAE twink:** I guess not  
 **TAE twink:**  Now Hurry The Fuck Up I'm cold

  
  
 **jaethebooty:** I’ll be right there

  
  
 **TAE twink:**  good<3

  
  
***normal chat***

 

**_**GordonRamsayroastedme changed Zhong Chenles name from " **Dolphin Laughter" to "THE chinese mafia"**** _   
**

 

 ** ** ** ** **T******** ** ** ** **HE******** ********chines********** **e** **mafia:** I mean,,,

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day<3


	8. what happens at summer camp, stays at summer camp (or does it?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the names:   
> GordonRamsayroastedme = Mark  
> TAE twink = Taeyong  
> johnnys Banana = Johnny  
> (Dolphin Laughter) THE chinese mafia = Chenle  
> werewhereu = Jaemin  
> devil = Haechan  
> minion-assailant = Yuta  
> jaethebooty = Jaehyun  
> ten/ten = Ten  
> dreamfanatic =Lucas  
> uwu =Jungwoo  
> ST(K)UNNING = Kun  
> flexible101 = Winwin  
> themoominlover = Renjun  
> Jisung Pwark = Jisung  
> bunnyboi = Doyoung  
> dadjokes = Taeil  
> smileyboi = Jeno

 

 

***Sunday 4.34 PM***

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Yall wanna know what happened at summer camp?

 

 **uwu:** Yes

 

 **dream** **fanatic:** That was creepily fast

 

 **uwu:** I've been waiting for this day, don't rain on my parade

 

 **dream** **fanatic:** Fair

 

 **devil:** NO MARK

 **devil:** I TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY

 

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** It's too late to apologiiiiiiize 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** It's too laaaate

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Good one bro

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Thanks bro

 

 **them** **oominlover:** U welcome bro

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Bro

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Bro

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Bro <3

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Bro >3

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Wait Bro

 

 **them** **oominlover:** I can fix it bro

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** How bro?

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Look bro

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Bro >the rest of the Universe

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Bro.

 

 **them** **oominlover:** <333

 

 

 **uwu:** Okay enough of whatever the fuck that was

 **werewhereu:** ^

 **smileyboi:** ^

 **Jisung Pwark:** ^

 

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Yall are just some jealous motherfuckers

 

 **TAE twink:** Language

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Oh right sorry

 **them** **oominlover:** You’re all just some jealous motherfuckers*

 

 **TAE twink:** Better

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** U BROKE MY HEART DONGHYUCK

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** HOW WILL I EVER RECOVER, IF NOT BY GETTING REVENGE?

 

 **TAE twink:** Yeah

 **TAE twink:** not how that works

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** Sometimes I don't understand where we went wrong

 

 **dream** **fanatic:** Tf did u do Hyuck?

 

 **devil:** YOU HAVE TO ADMIT

 **devil:** YOU LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING POODLE WEARING LEATHER IN THE FIRETRUCK ERA

 

 **them** **oominlover:** Firetruck era?

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** EXCUSE U IT WAS HIGH FASHION AND VERY COOL

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Only people with a high IQ would understand

 

 **devil:** Well the world is full of idiots then

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** :(((

 

 **devil:** alright alright

 **devil:** I guess it was kind of high fashion or whatever

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** :))

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** so summer camp, the year was 2018

 

 **devil:** MARK

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** The betrayal

 

 **dream** **fanatic:** oh yeah let's all just look away from the fact that they went to summer camp last year

 **dream** **fanatic:** (like a pair of fucking dumb dumbs)

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** To get away from you losers

 

 **devil:** you tell him bro

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Not even your homielove will get you out of this one Hyuck

 

 **devil:** Rude

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** as Beyonce said, what goes around comes back around

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Bitch

 

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** Omg

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** What have you created Donghyuck

 

 **devil:** A monster.

 

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** Might be a little exaggerated, but okay

 

 **devil:** Valid

 **devil:** Do you want to have a long and detailed online conversation about how media is changing how we see reality?

 

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** I thought you'd never ask

 

 **uwu:** No

 **uwu:** No

 **uwu:** no

 **uwu:** no

 **uwu:** Let's not change the subject

 **uwu:** (Also what the fuck???)

 **uwu:** What happened at the summer camp

 

 **devil:** Don't do it mark

 

 **uwu:** Stfu Donghyuck

 

 **devil:** :00

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** So. The year was 2018

 

 **ten/ten:** Mark

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** yes?

 

 **uwu:** You got to be kidding me

 

 **ten/ten:** do you have the wifi code?

 

 **GordonRamsayeoastedme:** oh yeah sure one sec

 

 **uwu:** Will the day ever come?

 **uwu:** Are we ever gonna know the truth of the time they call

 **uwu: "** Last Years Bears and Boogie Summer Camp"?

 **uwu:** Nobody knows

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** I was going to tell you, but now I kind of don't want to talk to you,

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** like ever again

 

 **uwu:** Fair enough

 

 **bunnyboi:**  No

 **bunnyboi:**  NOT FAIR I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JEOPARDIZED MY CHANCE OF KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED

 **bunnyboi:**  IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SHIT

 **bunnyboi:**  U WILL TELL US THE STORY AND U WILL DO IT NOW

 

 **werewhereu:** Look who be creeping in the chat

 **bunnyboi:**  fuck you 

 **werewhereu:** Jesus Christ

 

 **ten/ten:** Daddy I'm scared

 

 **jaethebooty:** Me too baby me too

 

 **ten/ten:** :00

 **jaethebooty:** ;))

 

 **ten/ten:** I-I was being memey

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** .

 **smileyboi:** .

 **them** **oominlover:** Boi

 

 **jaethebooty:** Oh Cool

 **jaethebooty:** So not regretting my decisions right now

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** “Daddy pass me the salt meme”

 

 **jaethebooty:** I hate u

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** Good

 

 **jaethebooty:** SO MARK SUMMER CAMP

 **jaethebooty:** PLEASE TELL ME THIS HOPEFULLY REALLY EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT HYUCK

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** (U can run away, but u can't hide bitch)

 

 **jaethebooty:** Fucking watch me

 **jaethebooty:** Wait don't

 **jaethebooty:** Because then I'm not hiding

 

 **TAE twink:** so smart

 **johnnys Banana:** so strong

 **ten/ten:** Yess what a man, we don't deserve him

 

 

 **dadjokes:** How do you have two boyfriends being that stupid,

 **dadjokes:** when I, an intellectual, have none

 

 **jaethebooty:** That's because I, unlike u, am beautiful

 

 **dadjokes:** :((

 

 **minion-assailant:** Aw come on Taeil is beautiful

 **minion-assailant:** don't be mean

 **minion-assailant:** There's not a single part of that man which isn't fucking stunning

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** .

 **TAE twink:**.

 **johnnys Banana:** .

 

 ** **ten/ten:**  **(Yuta your gay is showing)

 

 **dadjokes:** What the fuck was that

 

 **minion-assailant:** NOTHING I JUST LOVE ALL OF U OKAY

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** seems like u love some of us a little more than the rest

 

 **minion-assailant:** Where's your proof young man?

 

 **ten/ten:** Bro scroll up

 **ten/ten:**  It

 **ten/ten:** Just

 **ten/ten:** Fucking

 **ten/ten:** Happened

 

**Jisung Pwark: ^^^**

 

 **minion-assailant:** No winwin took my phone

 

 **ten/ten:**  I don't believe it

 **Jisung Pwark:** nice try 

 

 **minion-assailant:** Why not?

 

 **ten/ten:** Because all winwin said about kun was “he’s hella good in bed”

 **ten/ten:** Not anything like this-this weak in the knees type shit

 

 **minion-assailant:** So?

 

 **Jisung Pwark:**  we all favor Kun

 **ten/ten:** ^

 

 

 **minion-assailant:** I must admit I don't enjoy the way the two of u is ganging up on me

 **minion-assailant:** but I do respect it.

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** :)

 **ten/ten:** ;)

 

 **flexible101:** Im in China??

 

 **dadjokes:** Woaw thanks guys

 **dadjokes:** U really know how to make a man feel appreciated

 

 **minion-assailant:** I don't taeil

 **minion-assailant:** Favor kun that is

 **minion-assailant:** And I also do know how to make a man feel appreciated;)

_**flexible101:**  ^         message not sent _

 

 **Jisung Pwark:** I don't like this

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Me neither

 

 **dadjokes:** Why are u being so sweet today?

 **flexible101:**  It's suspicious

 **dadjokes:** very 

 

 **dadjokes:** Did you fuck some of my stuff up?

 **dadjokes:** Did you forget to vacuum the floor?

 **dadjokes:** Did you not buy the juice I told you to buy?

 **dadjokes:** Did you manage to somehow forget to buy batteries, which I've told you to get for days now??

 

 **minion-assailant:** No

 **minion-assailant:** I just think you're great that's all..

 **minion-assailant:** I promise hyung

 

 **flexible101:** no, something's up

 **flexible101:** (And waow that was so domestic)

 

 **dadjokes:** Yes

 **dadjokes:** something is definitely up

 **dadjokes:**  boys, I think it's time to bring in the big guns 

 

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** yes sir yes

 

 **dadjokes:** Yuta

 **flexible101:** Yuta

 **Jisung Pwark:** Yuta

 **ten/ten:** Yuta

 **jaethebooty:** Yuta

 **them** **oominlover:** Yuta

 **THE ch** **in** **e** **s** **e mafia:** Yuta

 

 **minion-assailant:** What kind of group pressure-

 

 **devil:** Yuta

 **ST(K)UN** **NING:** Yuta

 **bunnyboi:**  Yuta

 **werewhereu:** Yuta

 

 **minion-assailant:** ok

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Yuta

 **dreamfanatic:** Yuta

 **uwu:** Yuta

 **TAE twink:** Yuta

 **smileyboi:** Yuta

 **johnnys Banana:** Yuta

 

 **minion-assailant:** OKAY JESUS CHRIST

 **minion-assailant:** I ATE YOUR BLUEBERRY MUFFIN

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** muffin?

 **dreamfanatic:** i think we're missing something 

 

 **smileyboi:** this is so anticlimactic wtf

 **werewhereu:** ^

 

 **dadjokes:** DID YOU EAT MY MUFFIN?

 **dadjokes:** MY BLUEBERRY BLUSE TRIPLE DIPLE CHOCOLATE MUFFIN?

 **dadjokes:** THE MUFFIN I DROVE THREE HOURS TO GET

 **dadjokes:** THAT MUFFIN?

 

 **smileyboi:** the thing about this being anticlimactic?

 **smileyboi:** yeah, I take it back

 **werewhereu:** ^

 

 **minion-assailant:** Yes that muffin:(

 

 **dadjokes:** YUTA NAKAMOTO IM GONNA FUCK U UP

 

 **flexible101:** u deserve it

 **minion-assailant:** I know

 

* **Sunday 7.54 PM***

 

 **dadjokes:** So what happened at the summer camp?

 **devil:** Sooo where’s Yuta right now?

 

 **dadjokes:** well played.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, have a wonderful day:)


	9. can four people do the tango?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bunnyboi: we will never know
> 
> bunnyboi: I just learned not to question his ability to sense bullshit
> 
>  
> 
> johnnys Banana: ^
> 
>  
> 
> ST(K)UNNING: /magic/
> 
>  
> 
> bunnyboi: Whatever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the names:  
> GordonRamsayroastedme = Mark  
> TAE twink = Taeyong  
> johnnys Banana = Johnny  
> (Dolphin Laughter) THE chinese mafia = Chenle  
> werewhereu = Jaemin  
> devil = Haechan  
> minion-assailant = Yuta  
> jaethebooty = Jaehyun  
> ten/ten = Ten  
> dreamfanatic =Lucas  
> uwu =Jungwoo  
> ST(K)UNNING = Kun  
> flexible101 = Winwin  
> themoominlover = Renjun  
> Jisung Pwark = Jisung  
> bunnyboi = Doyoung  
> dadjokes = Taeil  
> smileyboi = Jeno

***Monday 8.46 PM***

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Guyd

 **johnnys Banana:** Guys

 **johnnys Banana:** Guys

 **johnnys Banana:** Guys

 **johnnys Banana:** GUYS

 

 **flexible101:** Jesus Christ Johnny WHAT

 

 **johnnys Banana:** I need your help

 

 **flexible101:** With?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Something very important

 

 **flexible101:** Oh really now?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** yes

 **johnnys Banana:** Life or death

 

 **flexible101:** Well shit

 **flexible101:** shoot me I guess

 

 **johnnys Banana:** All right

 

 **flexible101:**?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Would this line work on you

 

 **flexible101:** I'm disappointed but not surprised right now

 

 **bunnyboi:** Yeah you walked yourself right into that one

 

 **flexible101:** Stfu

 

 **johnnys Banana:** GUYD THIS IS IMPORTANT AND KIND OF URGENT

 

 **flexible101:** URGENT?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Yeah I'm standing in a queue in that cute little bookshop at the mall and my chance is about to be lost for all of eternity

 

 **flexible101:** all right go

 

 **johnnys Banana:** U a real one

 **johnnys Banana:** Are u ready?

 

 **flexible101:** For fuck sake

 **flexible101:** yes, please just get it over with 

 

 **johnnys Banana:** You can't rush art bitch

 

 **flexible101:** First, it's urgent,

 **flexible101:** and now we can't rush it

 **flexible101:** I hate this fucking family

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK

 

 **flexible101:** how does he do that?

 

 **bunnyboi:** we will never know

 **bunnyboi:** I just learned not to question his ability to sense bullshit

 

 **johnnys Banana:** ^

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** /magic/

 

 ** **bunnyboi:**** Whatever

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Say you're sorry

 

 **flexible101:** Why?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Because if u don't

 **johnnys Banana:** I'm gonna make you clean the sofa

 

 **flexible101:** Oh no

 **flexible101:** Not the sofa

 

 **johnnys Banana:** The sofa bitch

 

 **flexible101:** Well I'm sorry

 

 **johnnys Banana:** U better be

 **johnnys Banana:** (Thanks kun)

 

 **flexible101:** Just give me your fucking pick up line

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Okay here we go

 **johnnys Banana:** Girl I’ll make u wet with my tears

 

 **flexible101:** woaw

 

 **bunnyboi:**?

 **bunnyboi:**?

 **bunnyboi:**?

 

 **flexible101:** First of all

 **flexible101:**???

 **flexible101:** What the fuck

 **flexible101:** Second of all why so emo

 **flexible101:** 2007 is dead and buried no need to dig her back up with your crappy Tumblr depression

 **flexible101:** And third

 **flexible101:** Aren't you in a fucking relationship (Yes this is a bit late, but I was caught up in the moment)

 

 **johnnys Banana:** ?? Yourself

 

 **flexible101:** No

 

 **johnnys Banana:** And yes, yes I am

 **johnnys Banana:** But we, I mean we have all agreed that sex with other people is all right as long as everybody's cool with it

 

 **flexible101:** So ten and jaehyun don't care?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** No?

 **johnnys Banana:** Bruh haven't you noticed how there's sometimes people walking out from our room in the morning?

 

 **flexible101:** no?

 **flexible101:** does it happen a lot? wtf

 **flexible101:** But- u seem so possessive, like when people flirt and shit

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Well that's mostly for the shits and giggles

 

 **bunnyboi:** Never say that again

 

 **flexible101:** So you just like other people while being together?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** I mean if a person came up and confessed it would be different

 **johnnys Banana:** But this is just sex, it's not like we love any of them, so no we don't

 

 **TAE twink:** Purely sexual?

 **TAE twink:** No nothing?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Yes?

 **johnnys Banana:** If any of us loved someone else we probably would have told them or something

 

 **flexible101:** huh the more you know 

 

 **TAE twink:** Oh

 **TAE twink:** good to know

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Why?

 

 **bunnyboi:** ( this is awkward )

 

 **TAE twink:** Ahaha just because of you know

 **TAE twink:** all the unanswered questions 

 

 **johnnys Banana:** ??

 **johnnys Banana:** like?

 

 **TAE twink:** LIKE WHEN THEY GO IN THE MORNING, SHOULD I EXPECT TO SEE THEM AGAIN? SHOULD I BE NICE?

 **TAE twink:** SHOULD I MAKE THEM BREAKFAST?

 **TAE twink:** SHIT LIKE THAT

 

 **bunnyboi:** Calm down there would ya

 **bunnyboi:** (And nice save)

 

 **johnnys Banana:** When have u ever made breakfast to one of my one night stands?

 

 **bunnyboi:** Tf u mean?

 **bunnyboi:** He does it every time?

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Really?

 

 **bunnyboi:** Yeah

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Why?

 

 **TAE twink:** Idfk okay I like to cook and none of u motherfuckers appreciate it anymore

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Woaw that's not true I very much appreciate u making food for me

 

 **TAE twink:** Once u called me at 5 pm saying “ yo room service can you come up with some lasagna?”

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Yeah?

 

 **bunnyboi:** Doesn't sound too bad

 

 **TAE twink:** I was in Tokyo,

 **TAE twink:** he was at home

 **TAE twink:** And he ended the call saying “And would u be quick? I don't have all day”

 

 **bunnyboi:** I take it back

 **bunnyboi:** Very bad

 **bunnyboi:** Shame on you

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Everybody makes mistakes everybody has those days

 

 **bunnyboi:** I can't stand you

 

 **devil:** Why the fuck would you quote Hannah Montana?

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** Ehm

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** MAYBE BECAUSE SHE IS THE QUEEN OF POP AND TELEVISION, YOU DUMB WHORE

 

 **devil:** That was-

 **devil:** woaw I don't even know how to respond to that

 **devil:** Except with an EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT THE REAL STAR IN HANNAH MONTANA WAS RICO

 

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** why are you like this?

 **bunnyboi:** ^

 **johnnys Banana:** ^

 **flexible101:** ^

 

 **devil:** I honestly don't know anymore

 **devil:** Once, I did it for the shits and giggles(shout out to Johnny)

 **devil:** But now,,,, its been so long, I don't even know if I really mean the shit I say or not

 

 **jaethebooty:**.

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** .

 **johnnys Banana:** .

 

 **bunnyboi:** Sounds like a you problem

 

 **devil:** Oh it does indeed

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** I hate this fucking family

 

 _*All members of SUP FUCKERS “ :0 “ reacted on_ kuns _message*_

 

 **flexible101:** We really need a new chat name

 **GordonRamsayroastedme:** ^

 **devil:** ^

 **jaethebooty:** ^

 **ST(K)UNNING:** ^

 

 **flexible101:** Also kun don't think I didn't see the double morality 

 

 **ST(K)UNNING:** Shut the fuck up

 

 **flexible101:** Yes sir, all right sir

 

**_•PRIVATE CHAT: Johnny_ _jaehyun_ _ten and Taeyong•_ **

 

 **TAE twink:** Guys I can't come to your room today

 **TAE twink:** Srry I'm not feeling so good

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Really?

 **johnnys Banana:** You need something?

 

 **ten/ten:** Should I make some soup?

 

 **jaethebooty:** I'm at the mall right now I could buy some medicine?

 

 **TAE twink:** No, no it's fine I’ll just try to sleep it off

 

 **johnnys Banana:** We could come cuddle you?

 

 **jaethebooty:** I don't mind getting a cold

 **ten/ten:** ^

 

 **TAE twink:** No really guys it's all right

 **TAE twink:** Can't you just find someone else?

 **TAE twink:** I'm not feeling it today

 

 **ten/ten:** Someone else?

 **johnnys Banana:** Feeling it?

 **jaethebooty:** Taeyong what do you mean?

 

 **TAE twink:** Nothing

 **TAE twink:** Nothing

 **TAE twink:** Listen I'm really tired I'm going to bed now

 

 **johnnys Banana:** All right

 **ten/ten:** Sleep well baby

 **jaethebooty:** Get better till tomorrow so we can shower u in affection (Also known as kisses and cuddles)

 

 **TAE twink:** Night

 

_*** PRIVATE CHAT: Jaehyun, ten and Johnny*** _

 

 **johnnys Banana:** Something's not right

 

 **ten/ten:** Yeah

 **ten/ten:** No shit sherlock

 **jaethebooty:** ^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, have a wonderful day<3


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